Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My Special Gift ......My Son with Aspergers

I have been bothered lately with a heavy heart. So instead of carrying the pain around with me. I have decided to do what I could to help change peoples views. I'm hoping to help people see what I embrace as a special gift.

I have had a few of my friends point out fact that my son is different than most boys. To these people I ask you is that not rude to say? Were you not taught any manners? What makes you normal and him not normal,  maybe just maybe we are not "normal" and he "is". What is normal??? I ask you!

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers, deletion of chromosome #22...tail end deletion which is not well known. A rare chromosome defect on chromosome #6 which I'm proud to say he got from me and an abnormally small Pituitary gland.

When I was given his diagnosis 2 years ago, I did not freak out...hit the net for clues of why,  causes or hide the fact he had issues.  I opened my arms and embraced his differences which I have done since he was born. I wanted to shout from the mountain top...Yes, we finally know what we are dealing with. I didn't cry, get pissed or was I sad. I just wanted to do what I could to give him the best life he could possibly have.

For now I just want to talk to you about his Aspergers. When he was between the ages 1 and 2 I knew that his level of thinking was on a higher level and different than ours. We had a daycare and when the kids would all leave he would go through the all the toys and separate them into piles. Each pile would have no rhyme or reason to us, only to him. There would be a pile of certain toys he would not use. He would begin to arrange the toys in sequences/patterns all around 1200 sq ft of space. He would spend hours doing this. We all would watch him in fascination...wondering what he was thinking and doing. He would make squares out of the toys....each toy would have it's certain place and reasoning of why it was next to the other toy. Which only her would know. At times he would tell you why. You would say "WOW" I didn't think of that! It was totally amazing. I miss this...he doesn't do it any more.   I actually  took pictures and videos of it.(when I find them I will share them with you.)

He hardly ever played with the other kids when he was younger. He liked to be alone. He loved watching PBS..He would watch some college math programs, Senate debating etc. You changed it he would have a fit. I called it boring but he obviously didn't. He does watch cartoons now but still watches all the educational things too. Dewy enjoys telling us about what he learns and we enjoy listening to him. His knowledge is astonishing! 

Dewy does enjoy boy activities such as exploring the great outdoors, building, fishing, rough housing with his friends, working on cars, and other things. He does enjoy his quiet time away from all us girls. LOL. What guy doesn't? Every activity he does is with  his own spin on it. It took him for ever and a day to ride his bike. He was afraid of getting hurt. The first time he fell and and scraped his knees I cheered. Not because he scraped his knee;  it was the first time he ever scraped his knee and he was 10. He plays on the cautious side.

Dewy is one of the nicest boys that you would ever meet. He may not make eye contact with you but he will hold the door open for strangers, gives his coat to his sisters if they are cold, make sure ladies are first, ect. He will tell people to have a nice day and/or ask them how there day is going? Not realizing people when people do not respond back or respond back but don't ask him how he is doing?

Dewy has no clue when people are being mean to him I'm thankful for that but I must say when it happens around me watch out because I'm not as nice as he is. We all can't fit into the "normal" model what ever that may be but for the thousands of kids like Dewy who are extremely smart but have social limitations and the kids who are not as fortunate as Dewy...shame on us for treating them differently and teaching our kids to do the same. And if you think that it doesn't happen you are wrong. I'm sorry to say it happens more with adults than kids. How sad is that;  how can we expect people to change and be accepting when we pass on our narrow minded views to our kids. I see it every day. It saddens my heart.

One day I hope people will be more understanding of others' differences. Change has to start somewhere. So lets begin now. One step closer to being deliriously happy.
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