Tolerance, Acceptance, Hugs and Love!

I'm at a lost for words......I'm sure there are people cheering saying this chick has nothing to say, that's a rarity! YaY! Sorry to burst your moment of joy folks~~I'm lost of words because I don't understand WHY......let me explain~~~~

I have a few thoughts that I would like to share about a subject that I hold dear to who I'm as a person. That subject is acceptance of people and their differences.......

These differences range from simple things like homeschooling, haircuts and color to tattoo's, to race, disabilities, gays, lesbians, age and YES religion. Things that give a person their individuality, defines them as a person...... or better stated anything different from what some would say, "Normal!"

These differences spark debates, hate, fear, fights, war and whatever one deems necessary to spill their ignorance and hate. It has been going on since the beginning of time nothing new but...... WHY??

The WHY questions, come into play with these prejudices and intolerances. Here are just a few of my why questions~~

Why do you think your better then anyone else?
Why is your nationality/race better then mine?
Why must we point out the color of someone's skin?
Why can't people accept people for who they are?
Why is it necessary to belittle and taunt people for their differences?
Why can't we realize that these differences is what gives the world color and depth?
Why do you teach your children to hate?
Sorry yes, it is hate......here does this make you feel better?
Why do you teach your kids to dislike differences in people?
Why can't we get along?

It turns my inners in circles, gets my intestinal tract in a bind and my mind saying, "Really are you that ignorant?" Let me educate you. Actually, I'm thinking how stupid are you? You're ingrained ignorance is stunning the growth of your mind/life and the world. Wake up!!

I'm not saying to believe in all these differences but tolerate them, accept them, understand them. When we learn to tolerate and understand these differences, we will be happier and healthier as a person, nation, world and so on but for some reason we can't. Instead another WHY question comes into play

Why don't we want to be happy as a world? We can be....It's easy accept, tolerate, educate, hug and love! A simple concept to me but one that is not accepted by all. We will continue to have hate, pain and sadness until we change as a world and learn how to accept, tolerate, educate, hug and love!

One step closer to being deliriously happy! Spread hugs, love, acceptance, tolerance and educate!

Skillful Communication Compared to Leaky Water Faucet

You know when you are pushed to the limit~ when that last monkey jumps on your back. 

Your toooo tired to filter....

To be an adult, instead you let your mouth pour like a broken faucet! 

A leaky water faucet that isn't dripping but pouring out....
The valve is broken and the handle is just spinning in circles......
It's a spastic release of water which quickly turns into a controlled flow after control is taken and the conversational field becomes more balanced~~

Usually during the flow of water pouring out of my mouth, I cry, become emotional, my words are a discombobulated wind storm, and no one pays attention and disregards what I say....
But this time was different!
After, I took control of the conversation and the playing field was equalized. I felt confident; thoughts and respect were coming out of my mouth and my opinion was going to be heard.
I was heard, and I'm sure the person who tried to control the conversation by control and manipulation was sad because I didn't let her!
For once in my life I mastered the art conversation, was heard and no regrets where had........
I learned a valuable lesson in conversation....No matter how passionate I'm about a subject, I must at all times control my emotions!
Now to do this where my kids are concerned.......

Face it~~conversation is an art, a technique that is mastered by some....
Some have a Phd in it...
Others are true experts.....They could get you to buy two day old road kill
While others such as myself couldn't even talk someone into a free beautiful shiny gold necklace.....delivered to them by a sexy hunk such as Shemar Moore (the sexy hunk from Criminal Minds)

I will continue to be a student of conversation.....Hoping that one day I will graduate into the world of skillful communication!

One More Step to becoming Deliriously Happy! 

Choose Happiness Over Misery

Sometimes in life we have to give up something we want or that is important to us in order to be able to move forward in life. It's true....

I know some of you are saying what is this crazy girl talking about.... 

Others know what I'm saying, but say why give up something that is comfortable and safe even though those same people are miserable.....Been there done that. Lets say not fun and life is wayyyyyyy to short! 

Others will say make that tough decision you never know whats going to happen.....You deserve to be happy. I agree with making that tough decision, I made it! It hurt!
 Down right stung the thumper in the chest. But the thumper is strong and will be happier as life is being lived, goals reached and true love is found. 

Recently, I had to make a tough decision to walk away from a relationship that I was comfortable with and frankly from someone I'm in love with and the only guy I ever really loved. I moved our relationship to the "we are just friends category." It has been a long time coming.  I want more out of life so I had to give up the relationship that I was comfortable with but wanted more out of it. I have always known that we were never going to go anywhere but I didn't want to face it.  I didn't want to give up friendship that has helped me grow, enriched my life for years and the only guy that I have actually loved.
Recently, I stated what I wanted from our relationship and I got no response. So I'm done. I'm ready and need to move on and I have....I can and I will.  I want more and deserve more. I have left the safety net behind, I'm sad but I know that it had to be done. I don't want to be miserable anymore. I want a real relationship so I made a tough decision, now I can move on. It's scary not knowing if I will ever be in love again. 

We clinch on to things that make us miserable because we don't want to give up material things, money, and comfort to change our situation. Does that make sense? I have so many friends that are miserable.  They say I would love to but I don't want to give up having everything. I gave up two houses, toys and countless shopping trips to be happy. I may not have everything ever again but I'm happy, my kids are happy and my life has changed for the better. It wasn't worth being miserable to have everything or to be in love with someone who loves you but doesn't want the same thing out of the relationship.

One Step To Being Deliriously Happy!  

The First Step To A Healthier You

We are working on my websites today...actually dusting some that have been sitting there in cyber space all by their lonesome self wanting to be worked on, made pretty, and to be visited by people. Anyways....one of the sites is Healthy Tips For A Better You...something very dear to my soul...something I wish all people actually believed in...so I am going to start from the beginning on how to create a healthy you.

As I have stated in the past,  it all starts with your frame of mind. Your mind, your thoughts all play a factor in your overall health, mood and your ability to handle stress. When you want to make changes in your life, it all needs to start with your mindset. Your mind needs to be healthy before you can make changes in your life from weight loss to job changes, and life in general. The way we think and feel plays a factor in our ability to achieve our goals and the outcomes from it. 

According to research performed at the Mayo clinic the health benefits of positive thinking vary from lowering depression and distress, to reducing the risk of cardiovascular disease, increasing life span and better coping with stress. It is not sure why people who have positive thoughts have these benefits. Some of the theories are positive people have better coping skills dealing with stress which reduces the  harmful sides effects of stress on the body. Another thought is that people with positive thoughts have a healthier lifestyles.

This is all good and everyone would love to have these extra health benefits along with the rewards from positive thoughts attract positive things in the world but it takes work and can be done. Your first step is saying and believing it can be done. Your second step is to get rid of the negative things and people in your life. Yes, this can be done. Find positive people and start hanging out with them. You will be amazed at how your life will change.

Negative thinking and hanging around negative people will stop you from achieving your goals whether they are personal or financial.  Find the positive in every situation, don't tell me you can't find the positive because if you look hard and thoroughly you can always find the positive. I was having a conversation about the state of the economy with a friend. He was depressed and scared. I looked at him and I said I'm not worrying about it. He looked at me strangely. I said I can't do anything to change what is going on. It's out of my hands so I  looked for the positive when the economy started to tank. The positive I found was that families we starting to live together and are closer like years ago. He thought about and said you are right. He smiled and said that was very smartest thing he heard about the negative economy and he was going to think that way. Now this thought won't change Washington or the world but it will change the way you let the negative things in the world affect you.

One step closer to being deliriously happy!

I Want A Brain Transplant But Instead I Got..............

Last Friday I had a very important date with Dr. Lewis, my surgeon. I finally gave in and had the surgery that needed to be done. This day also marks the beginning of the 8 wk plan.

Brain Transplant....check!

No folks it wasn't a hysterectomy, I was scheduled for a brain transplant~~~~I so want a photographic memory~~a WHOLE body tuck and nip, a boob job and butt job. However, when I woke I was sadly disappointed I had the surgery I was scheduled for with none of the things done on my wish list...Bummer..

Lets just let the record state I'm a register nurse who hates needles. I can pick you a bazillion times but don't come at me with a needle, I might have to deck you! With that being said, I had an awesome nurse who had superb techniques in the art of starting IV's. Tho, she did use a numbing med first. I did not feel a thing and I didn't feel the IV in my hand until the day I was going home. Props to that nurse she can stick me anytime.

Behaving as a patient lets see, I hopped out of bed with the rails up once and with the bed up in the air once. Other then that props to me for being a good patient. I wasn't even grumpy....not that I have ever been grumpy LOL!

I was impressed with how clean the hospital was. However my room never did get cleaned...hmmm whatz up with that? The nurses were nice, caring and did a great job but....Yes, there is a but, I had 3 shifts that never did an assessment on me. Yes, I'm was a healthy patient but as a nurse I would never take care of a patient for 12 hours without doing an assessment on them. I love my nursing licence and worked hard to get it. Am I passing judgement? Nope, just giving advice. It's your license.....I had the other half of working moms Anessa and a friend keeping their eyes on me. I was in good hands.
                                                                  

Be in the hospital but be comfy and stylish! 

                                                                 


One step closer to being deliriously happy! 

Ultimatum......... Negative Word With A Positive Spin

Ultimatum......A statement that expresses or implies the threat of serious penalties if the terms are not accepted. A negative word by all means.....

I was recently given an ultimatum, needless to say, it did not set well with me.... is it going to get me to comply with what they want...Nope not at all.....

Just the opposite....
I have planted my feet firm in the dirt...if my hand is forced...... I'm ready to take a leap of faith..... a jump into the unknown......scared no....I'm excited and ready for the new life that the ultimatum will force upon me.....as I have been thinking this is probably what I need.....the push that I have been looking for.....

Life is to short to live by the rules of a person who survives in life by trying to control people through ultimatums when it was them who caused the problem to begin with.....

Now not many people would would take the leap of faith as I'm going to. They would give in and go with the ultimatum especially in today's economy but hey, as I says you only live once.....money isn't everything....yes, I do have mouths to feed and medical bills, and other payments like everyone else....

I'm just tired of power trips....battles I no longer choose to fight.....so give me an ultimatum....and if I'm not doing anything wrong to cause it.....I'm gone....If I caused it then I will apologize and ask for your forgiveness...

So I have decided to take this negative word and give it a positive spin. I'm going to go after my dreams.....jump hard and heavy into my biz....go back to school......and who knows I might even date, find that Mr. Ann Marie that everyone who meets me wants to know if there is one.

To me only positive outcomes will come from the negative ultimatum......who knows I might even drop her a thank you note for the "ultimatum" which is going to change my life for the better......

One more step to becoming deliriously happy.......

My Special Gift ......My Son with Aspergers

I have been bothered lately with a heavy heart. So instead of carrying the pain around with me. I have decided to do what I could to help change peoples views. I'm hoping to help people see what I embrace as a special gift.

I have had a few of my friends point out fact that my son is different than most boys. To these people I ask you is that not rude to say? Were you not taught any manners? What makes you normal and him not normal,  maybe just maybe we are not "normal" and he "is". What is normal??? I ask you!

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers, deletion of chromosome #22...tail end deletion which is not well known. A rare chromosome defect on chromosome #6 which I'm proud to say he got from me and an abnormally small Pituitary gland.

When I was given his diagnosis 2 years ago, I did not freak out...hit the net for clues of why,  causes or hide the fact he had issues.  I opened my arms and embraced his differences which I have done since he was born. I wanted to shout from the mountain top...Yes, we finally know what we are dealing with. I didn't cry, get pissed or was I sad. I just wanted to do what I could to give him the best life he could possibly have.

For now I just want to talk to you about his Aspergers. When he was between the ages 1 and 2 I knew that his level of thinking was on a higher level and different than ours. We had a daycare and when the kids would all leave he would go through the all the toys and separate them into piles. Each pile would have no rhyme or reason to us, only to him. There would be a pile of certain toys he would not use. He would begin to arrange the toys in sequences/patterns all around 1200 sq ft of space. He would spend hours doing this. We all would watch him in fascination...wondering what he was thinking and doing. He would make squares out of the toys....each toy would have it's certain place and reasoning of why it was next to the other toy. Which only her would know. At times he would tell you why. You would say "WOW" I didn't think of that! It was totally amazing. I miss this...he doesn't do it any more.   I actually  took pictures and videos of it.(when I find them I will share them with you.)

He hardly ever played with the other kids when he was younger. He liked to be alone. He loved watching PBS..He would watch some college math programs, Senate debating etc. You changed it he would have a fit. I called it boring but he obviously didn't. He does watch cartoons now but still watches all the educational things too. Dewy enjoys telling us about what he learns and we enjoy listening to him. His knowledge is astonishing! 

Dewy does enjoy boy activities such as exploring the great outdoors, building, fishing, rough housing with his friends, working on cars, and other things. He does enjoy his quiet time away from all us girls. LOL. What guy doesn't? Every activity he does is with  his own spin on it. It took him for ever and a day to ride his bike. He was afraid of getting hurt. The first time he fell and and scraped his knees I cheered. Not because he scraped his knee;  it was the first time he ever scraped his knee and he was 10. He plays on the cautious side.

Dewy is one of the nicest boys that you would ever meet. He may not make eye contact with you but he will hold the door open for strangers, gives his coat to his sisters if they are cold, make sure ladies are first, ect. He will tell people to have a nice day and/or ask them how there day is going? Not realizing people when people do not respond back or respond back but don't ask him how he is doing?

Dewy has no clue when people are being mean to him I'm thankful for that but I must say when it happens around me watch out because I'm not as nice as he is. We all can't fit into the "normal" model what ever that may be but for the thousands of kids like Dewy who are extremely smart but have social limitations and the kids who are not as fortunate as Dewy...shame on us for treating them differently and teaching our kids to do the same. And if you think that it doesn't happen you are wrong. I'm sorry to say it happens more with adults than kids. How sad is that;  how can we expect people to change and be accepting when we pass on our narrow minded views to our kids. I see it every day. It saddens my heart.

One day I hope people will be more understanding of others' differences. Change has to start somewhere. So lets begin now. One step closer to being deliriously happy.

Bummer......A great guy......

A quiet celebration took place within my heart last Thursday March 25. The day would have been my father's b-day. A day which I usually am sad and shed tears for him but this year was different. I still miss him more than anything but this year I decided to remember all the fun things and celebrate his day with smiles, laughs and sharing stories. A day of joy instead of sadness. What a more enjoyable day then usual and I'm sure he is happier with my decision.

On of my earliest memories that I have is our special nickname that we had for each other. A nickname that I never let anyone else call me and that was "Bummer". I have no idea how it came to be but that is what we called each other. Our special name that was not shared by anyone. 

I can remember spending my Saturdays with Bummer mowing, gardening, weeding. When we were done he would take me down to the local restaurant and buy me a milk shake. MMMM good and worth every second of help.

During certain seasons we would go Apple or blueberry picking. We would spend the whole day picking. He use to laugh and say good thing they don't weigh us going in and coming out and charge us for the extra pounds we gained.  Blueberry picking would consist of a fist for the mouth and a couple blueberries for the bucket. Before we picked an apple off the tree we would test taste it to make sure the apples on the tree met our standards. Bummer would hold the ladder and I would climb up the ladder. I was a monkey climbing fool when I was growing up. Climbing trees was second nature to me. I would reach all the nice big Apples that no one ventured to go get. Funny, now I would think twice about it. LOL 

One of the greatest gifts that my farther ever gave me was the ability to say I'm sorry. I say that because a few months before he passed there was a huge disagreement between him and myself. He ended up kicking me out of my house but a couple of days later he called me to say he was "sorry" and wanted me to come home which I did. I do remember the situation but it was the "I'm sorry Bummer" that I hold tight and close to my heart. I always tell everyone that was the greatest gift he gave me. The ability to apologize when I do wrong even if you are the parent. No one is perfect and we all owe apologizes at times.

I will always will miss him but from now on instead of a day of sorrow it will be a day of celebration for my family. A family that he never had the chance to meet.  Who knows maybe next year, we will honor his day with one of his favorite meals. Share pictures and stories. A fun day.. One step to becoming deliriously happy.
 

Family Movie Night

One of our favorite days at our house is family movie night, which is usually on Wednesday night.  We do movie themes and make food to go along with the themes. We pick out our flicks from the vast assortment of movies that Netflix has to offer.

Though, I must say my choices are NOT the ones usually picked to watch since I love guns, bullets and blood. Yes, the movies that make me happy and nobody else likes.  Everyone else prefers the mooshie...lovey...chick flick movies ( Holding back the chunks now....Ok, I'm better.) and the kid type movies from Disney etc. We also love to watch "old" movies and TV shows such as MacGyver or Swiss Family Robinson when that was on TV....not the movie...

We all grab our pillows and blankets and a cozy spot to watch TV...It is amazing to see and hear their reactions to some of the "older" movies...I must say they have loved them. I'm happy that we have had the chance to expose them to show and things of the past...One of the best times is when we all discuss the movies. The kids always have input or really get into the characters and start talking about what they think the characters are going to do next.

We get excited when the Netflix comes in the mail. The kids carefully rip open the DVDs to see what is inside. After family movie night they put the Netflix in the mail and patiently wait for the next movies to come...It has been a great family experience to pick out movies and TV series from the past...Great memories...I must say even the big kids who no longer live here get into our family movie nights when they can...
  

One step closer to being a deliriously happy as a family....creating family memories and traditions to pass on...

  




                                                                             

Time...

Wow! Hard to believe it is 2010 already...where has time gone is always the question?????

Time waits for no one...time does not wait for you to reach your goals and then proceed.

Though it would be so nice if we could say, "Time stand still a minute or two while I to get this done." I would be saying that all day long. Time stop! Time go! Time stop! Time go!
Yep, I could become addicted to those words so would everyone else. The utter chaos it would cause..

I have had a couple of people tell me this year 'What have you lost but time..not a big thing.' I'm looking at them thinking 'amazing, time is not a big thing.' Time is a major component of your day, success, life and it's not important? What planet are you from?? A second lost is a second you will not get back. We definitely had different view points on time. Not to say I haven't wasted time, but time has become a "precious commodity" that I'm becoming more respectful of and enjoying more of.

Time is always in perpetual movement. Make this the year that you organize your schedule/time so you get the most out of your day to accomplish your work and personal goals.


Lost, yesterday, somewhere between Sunrise and Sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever. ~Horace Mann

One step closer to creating a life of being deliriously happy...

My Christmas Eve Tradition That Is A Must Every Year....

First off I would like you to leave a comment about your Christmas tradition or favorite memory of the Holiday Season.....

A family tradition that was started in my family long before I was on this Earth was going to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve....

I remember Christmas Eve.....I use to spend most of the day listening to Christmas music and keeping an eye on the gifts being put under the tree..... spying for the packages with my name on them...waiting for a time when no one was in room with me....when the opportunity arose I would shake the gifts to see if I could figure out what was in them....and of course looking at the size of the gift...typical kid.....

I was put to bed early evening and was awaken around 11 pm or so....I got ready along with the rest of the family and we would walk to our church which was up the block from us....It usually was a beautiful night.....with a blanket of snow on the ground and new snow falling....the air would be cold and crisp...nothing said Christmas more then that...

The first thing we would see when we arrived at church was the beautiful life size (or so it seemed) Manger scene...We would enter church, the choir would be singing songs and church would be packed....after Mass we would start our journey back to the house...singing Christmas carols at times...

When we got home my dad, mom and who ever else would make a big breakfast with eggs, bratwurst, cinnamon rolls, bacon, toast and sweets...after our bellies were full it would be off to bed so Santa could come...I would still got up at the crack of dawn to open gifts...

To me Christmas is not Christmas without going to Midnight Mass....my kids go with me at times...but we never have breakfast like I did...but maybe someday...between the Mass, the Carols, and the generosity of the season that is what Christmas is all about...

One step closer to being deliriously happy....

Two Single Mommies Preparing For Vacation

Getting ready for our first family vacation as single moms. Anessa's may be their big sister and my daughter but she is just like a mom to her younger brother and sisters so I will put her in the mom category. Thank God she is the planner or we would be in trouble. LOL She loves to be in charge so half at it, sister as I say. Just let me know what I do NOT need to do I tell her with a smile on my face. I do voice my opinion when needed, course I have to be listening to her to do that. I have so enjoyed having her take over some of the responsibilities with the little ones. Yes, I'm so lucky.

My major concern was making sure we have some type of navigational system to use. We have no sense of direction. As I tell everyone I got lost trying to find the line for understanding directions when I was being made. Maps are useless to me. Seriously since there are no left or right directions on a map I can not read them. Heck I have no idea which way leads to Florida from my house; North, South, East or West. In one word, I'm clueless. So I did my job and we will have one. Oh, wait I forgot I have to figure out how to use the GPS.....we are so doomed.

The fun and glorious packing. The kids have out grown their sneakers, pants and shorts....all their clothes so new wardrobe for all. Lets not forget all the personal necessities such as sunscreen, hats, sunglasses, curling iron etc. Please you have to pack so much to take with a family of six that it comes down to it you either take the family or the luggage but both will not fit in the vehicle. LOL! The winner is........The Luggage! We will work it out. The kids might be completely covered by luggage.....it will interesting.

We need to find some type of entertainment for the ride down. Music is a must the CD player will be loaded with our favorite music and we do have Sierras radio so music COVERED. We will bring movies for the DVD system. I wonder if I will have to listen to movies all the way there or will they be sweet babies and put on the head phones? We also have to find room for snacks and drinks. I'm so happy I will be doing the driving. I will not have to squished by luggage and snacks.The kids will have a fight or two because one of them will have an inch more of room than the other. I can see the pit stop breaks open up the car door and everything falls out. Lets not forget the dreaded HOW LONG BEFORE WE ARE THERE. LOL

My Haunted TV and Microwave.....

A story to tell for Halloween/All Hollows Eve. This story is not scary but strange and perfect for the season.

Let me set the stage.

We moved into our house 5 years ago this month. When we moved in our house our belongings were still in MI so the people we brought the house from left all the things they did not want behind. One of the things they left us was a console TV. How cool or so we thought. The TV had a mind of its own or was controlled by something other then us. For the 3 yrs and 2 months (yes, I remember how long) the TV would come on and shut off as it pleased. You would turn it on and it would shut off at some point. It could be minute from the time you turned it on or an hour. Whenever you would turned it back on and it would shut off again. This could happen many times, just once or not at all while you were watching TV it all depended on what 'mood' the TV was in. Yet other times the TV would just come on all by itself. We joshed around about our TV saying it was possessed. We got rid of the TV 2 years ago this Christmas. The new TV has not had these issues, BUT..........

Our Microwave took over. Yes, indeed it did! Our microwave is possessed. Right when we got rid of the TV the microwave started. It comes on as it pleases. You shut kitchen cabinet door or the microwave door and the microwave comes on. ( so you know there is no time on the microwave and its off) My favorite is when you hit the "0" button and the number "6" comes up. The buttons on the microwave will work when they want to. We laugh and joke about it. At times we say we need to have a priest come and bless our house.

Yes, there has been people who have been here when these odd things happen. Needless to say they are just amazed and entertained by our strange happenings. We are not scared, I'm sure there is some logical explanation or NOT. For now we will continue to be amused by our strange Microwave.

One step closer to being deliriously happy.