I Want A Brain Transplant But Instead I Got..............

Last Friday I had a very important date with Dr. Lewis, my surgeon. I finally gave in and had the surgery that needed to be done. This day also marks the beginning of the 8 wk plan.

Brain Transplant....check!

No folks it wasn't a hysterectomy, I was scheduled for a brain transplant~~~~I so want a photographic memory~~a WHOLE body tuck and nip, a boob job and butt job. However, when I woke I was sadly disappointed I had the surgery I was scheduled for with none of the things done on my wish list...Bummer..

Lets just let the record state I'm a register nurse who hates needles. I can pick you a bazillion times but don't come at me with a needle, I might have to deck you! With that being said, I had an awesome nurse who had superb techniques in the art of starting IV's. Tho, she did use a numbing med first. I did not feel a thing and I didn't feel the IV in my hand until the day I was going home. Props to that nurse she can stick me anytime.

Behaving as a patient lets see, I hopped out of bed with the rails up once and with the bed up in the air once. Other then that props to me for being a good patient. I wasn't even grumpy....not that I have ever been grumpy LOL!

I was impressed with how clean the hospital was. However my room never did get cleaned...hmmm whatz up with that? The nurses were nice, caring and did a great job but....Yes, there is a but, I had 3 shifts that never did an assessment on me. Yes, I'm was a healthy patient but as a nurse I would never take care of a patient for 12 hours without doing an assessment on them. I love my nursing licence and worked hard to get it. Am I passing judgement? Nope, just giving advice. It's your license.....I had the other half of working moms Anessa and a friend keeping their eyes on me. I was in good hands.
                                                                  

Be in the hospital but be comfy and stylish! 

                                                                 


One step closer to being deliriously happy! 

Paying It Forward, Saying Thanks!

Today, as I was chatting with a few of my twitter friends regarding #payingitforward , I was taken back to my father who passed away years ago and all his generosity which would be called today #payingitforward #randomactsofkindness.  My thoughts drifted to all my neighbors, and family who gave so generously everyday when I was growing up. The acts of kindness that happened everyday when I was little and I took it for granted.

My father had a huge funeral which I see was a way for people to thank him for all that he had given to people, family and his community. Amazing I just got that today. He died when I was young so I never gave thought. Anyway, he gave when he did not have the money to give. He would have given the shirt of his back to help anyone and he really did. He started the ambulance service in our town when we no longer had one, active in the church and a great father.  Never thought once bout the time or bout how much it was going to cost him. We didn't have lots money but her would give anyway. Thats what made him rich I truly believe. The feeling that he must have gotten. I would like to say THANK YOU dad. I finally got it.

I would also like to THANK all my neighbors who I called Aunt, Uncle and Grandpa. They were not related by blood but they were a huge part of my life everyday when I was growing up. They were kind and generous to me and my family. They took care of me when my mom was sick. I loved going to Aunt Marie's house after school because she would have a snack on the table for me waiting and chat with me. She was always there with kind words and a open ear.  Grandpa McLeod would sit and chat with me. He always let us use his clothes line to hang our clothes on and he looked after me too. Aunt Libby and Uncle Don were always there for me too! Always ready for a visit from me. All the neighbors helped my mom and dad out. My mom was sick a lot and they pitched in and helped. I also would like to thank Carl and Martha too. I will never forget your generosity you showed me and all the times you let me stay with you.

This blog is dedicated to all the people in my life who really showed my what random acts of kindness, paying it forward was just took me a bit to figure out where I got it from. I'm sorry it took me so long to say THANKS! You will always be loved and you all are never far from my thoughts! Thank you for being part of the trunk on my tree of life! So you know I addicted to the feeling that comes from #payingitfoward TY!

Please post the acts of kindness that touched your lives!

My New Attitude has People Guessing.....

I woke up January 1, 2011 with a new attitude of I no longer give a rats booty and a feeling of extreme happiness that doesn't seem like it could ever go away.

I left all the baggage in 2010. I have had a smile on my face and an attitude to boot....so much so that everyone swears I must have a new love in my life, which is far from the truth.

A smile and new attitude is a hallmark sign for a new man in my life. Please, one can be deliriously happy without having a love life.

I have a smile on my face laughing as I'm  thinking bout what I just said. Yes, I believe that you need to open your heart and allow love to enter. I plan on mmmmmm maybe working on my love issues this year. Kids and friends say I should I 'm not sure but lets move on from here.

I'm not sure what the deliriously happy feelings are from except from my inner soul, my thoughts, my outlook but whatever it is when the feeling starts to fade I snap back and say Girl, remember you don't give a rats booty, put a smile on your face and love the life you have.

One step to closer to being deliriously happy!!!

I Found My Big Girl Panties......

This morning I realized I have lost my vision.....my happy thoughts. I have allowed people's negative thoughts, words and action to play a huge part in how I feel and react to situations and things. I'm not sure when this happened but it did. It's not a good thing nor a good feeling
BUT now it's time for a CHANGE,  growth, strength, and slap myself silly for allowing it. What was I thinking...oh, that's right I wasn't thinking. I was reacting which not a good thing. Sooooooooooooo

I'm commanding and taking BACK control of my life, actions and thoughts. I'm standing up throwing signs up which read.
I'm strong..........
I'm happy........
Your negative thoughts will no longer control my thoughts and words..........but I will use my words to be heard regarding your negativity.
I will become stronger from your negativity.....going to put on my big girl panties and leave them on this time...
Look out world I'm back.............One step forward to becoming deliriously happy....

Ultimatum......... Negative Word With A Positive Spin

Ultimatum......A statement that expresses or implies the threat of serious penalties if the terms are not accepted. A negative word by all means.....

I was recently given an ultimatum, needless to say, it did not set well with me.... is it going to get me to comply with what they want...Nope not at all.....

Just the opposite....
I have planted my feet firm in the dirt...if my hand is forced...... I'm ready to take a leap of faith..... a jump into the unknown......scared no....I'm excited and ready for the new life that the ultimatum will force upon me.....as I have been thinking this is probably what I need.....the push that I have been looking for.....

Life is to short to live by the rules of a person who survives in life by trying to control people through ultimatums when it was them who caused the problem to begin with.....

Now not many people would would take the leap of faith as I'm going to. They would give in and go with the ultimatum especially in today's economy but hey, as I says you only live once.....money isn't everything....yes, I do have mouths to feed and medical bills, and other payments like everyone else....

I'm just tired of power trips....battles I no longer choose to fight.....so give me an ultimatum....and if I'm not doing anything wrong to cause it.....I'm gone....If I caused it then I will apologize and ask for your forgiveness...

So I have decided to take this negative word and give it a positive spin. I'm going to go after my dreams.....jump hard and heavy into my biz....go back to school......and who knows I might even date, find that Mr. Ann Marie that everyone who meets me wants to know if there is one.

To me only positive outcomes will come from the negative ultimatum......who knows I might even drop her a thank you note for the "ultimatum" which is going to change my life for the better......

One more step to becoming deliriously happy.......

Sending My Baby Off To War

I have had a rough week to say the least......
One time in my life when I need to be strong... a pillar for my babies....instead I'm struggling with every ounce of me not to cry.....to be able to breath....not panic with fear...I have been through a lot in my life....all which holds nothing to what I'm feeling about sending my baby off to a war zone...

Many of you don't know but my middle child...child #4.... "aka" short bus (nickname given to her because she is 5ft 1and gives me piggyback rides... I tease that she is so short my butt hits the floor)...T-birder(another nickname)...Taneah is in her last 9 days of training/holding before she is being deployed .......

Up until last Tuesday....it didn't bother me...because I decided to go with denial...my other daughter said mom she wont go....they will probably cancel her orders....I went with that....denial......it was working for me...up until she packed her gear at my house...then it hit me...my baby...my short bus really is going to a war zone and I can't do anything to stop her from going...to protect her....

I looked at her and said you really are going....
She said yeah, mom I'm...
I said but NaTasha said you wouldn't be going....she said they would probably cancel your orders...she was wrong...
I watched her pack her gear...thank goodness the rat that came to visit which took my mind off her going....

The next day....we said our goodbyes.....I thought saying goodbye to my babies that got stationed in Alaska was hard...well, was I WRONG....totally wrong...sending your baby to war....is a feeling that I can't explain....so many emotions but no words really capturing the way I feel.....

When I said goodbye...it was like saying goodbye knowing that I never get to see her again....that the person I'm saying goodbye to will not be the same person I will see when she gets back....it will be someone new....A person I never met before.... Will I ever see her again....she may not come back......over the last couple of weeks we talked about her wishes in case that happens...again I used denial and jokes....thinking she wouldn't go...yep, worked then...but not now.....reality hits...

She left me her car to use...every time I get in it....I can't describe how I feel....Thankful her letting me use her car while she is gone...but knowing why I have the luxury/honor of using her car...hard to handle at times...but what a sweet baby....

I had a parent say to me who does not have a child in the military...as parents we prepare our kids to go out and take care of themselves in the world that's all you can do...as if she thought this was comforting to me....I looked at her for a moment....
and replied yes, we do....but we do not prepare them for war.....not the same I said...thinking to myself....shes not moving away....she is going to protect us in a country that really is not fond of Americans...where bombs go off and guns are shot...forgot to prepare her for that.....

I have also struggled with the fact that my son-in-law....child #10...one of my gifts...went to war but I did not get this upset....I love Bryon as much as I do my own..... worried bout him the first time he left...I did cry and was scared for him..the next time...I put it out of my mind and knew he would be ok still scared for him....but with Taneah....why am I a basket case....I feel bad....like I was letting Bryon down...I immediately called my daughter NaTasha and apologized for not being as upset/scared when Bryon was deployed...... I didn't want Bryon ever to think that I loved him less....

She said mom he doesn't think that....we both think kids should be older when they go to war....and Taneah is blood mom...but I said that should not matter....I think it's because she is a girl...and Bryon can take care of himself....yes, I was sexist for a moment....one of them is very capable of taking care of themselves... the other...is not so capable....immature... really young....lacking life experiences...


I have a new understanding for parents who have gone or are going through the same thing as I'm....Not an easy thing....we can not protect our loved ones.....put them in a bubble...send notes telling people who want to kill them to play nice...and learn to get along.....we loose control of being able to protect them what so ever....not easy...extremely hard thing to do as a parent...

To all the families that have sent their loved ones to a war zone....My thoughts and prayers are with you....and always have been....Words cannot express what I feel for your pain or what you are feeling....

Thank you to all the service men for your sacrifices that you have given.....to protect us....

Mother's Day......

My wonderful kids...I have to say I have had a  Mothers Day's celebration that started last week and is continuing through Sunday or longer...We celebrated Mother's Day a week early this year because we were not sure that my daughter Taneah would be here or not to celebrate. She is leaving for duty over seas.

The cooked me a delicious homemade meal.. The table was spectacular. The kids wrote warm loving poems and recited them to me.  They gave me a set of black shells that stacked inside each other. The shells are what they collected at the beach. Which Annuh spent hours trying to find the right 'family of shells' for me:)!

Over the week I have received homemade cards, yummy chocolates and other candies. Lots of love and kisses. I can't wait to see what my weekend and the following week has in store for me. I feel truly blessed to have such loving kids who go out of their way to show how much they really appreciate me. They took Mother's Day into a 2 week span and have spoiled me rotten. Must say I'm one lucky MOM course I feel this way everyday day.

One Step Closer To Becoming Deliriously Happy.........Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies out there!